Change

Wow this past weekend was amazing!!! God did so much not just in my life this weekend but I was able see people get blessed by the Holy Spirit. This weekend we had a church retreat and it was amazing God moved in many many ways! Words can hardly describe how lives were changed by God at the retreat, but it didnt stop there. So I'll start with this! As a teen my parents divorced but it took me a while to seek God to find comfort in that pain of not seeing my parents together. Finally moved with my mom when I was 15. And started seeking God like crazy, I got involved with youth ministry and praise and worship. Even at one time I became a youth director of a church being the age of 19. I was on fire for God, but I let that fire die when these certain pastors not only abused the authority that was given by publically embarssing my family in a restaurant but with other things. Slowly I allowed so much junk and filth in my life. I allowed drugs, porn, lust, alcohol, pain, bitterness, anger, sex, etc to take over my life after what I experienced at young age with certain pastors. Since that time it was getting harder for to trust someone who called themselves a pastor. Even after I decided to get away from all that mess and to get right with God. I just couldnt trust a pastor. Even after my divorce I couldnt truely trust a pastor unitl I started going to The Gathering. Pastor Marco is different. Pastor Marco has spoken things back into my life, even though I allowed at times for the grudge I had against pastors to get the best of me. And I say all this because after yesterday I was freed from the things I was holding onto. Like that wall of not trusting a pastor was broken, the things that I had experienced and still held onto just to keep me from not going back to that stuff. I am FREE!!!! I am no longer holding onto those things just to keep me from going back but now I am going forward with the things God has for me! The chains are broken and I know that I am not the only one who can say after this weekend. Several people testified of the things God is doing in thier lives. God is Good and I thank him alone for allowing me to go through the things I have been through!

This is Me for those who dont know everthing!!

Well lets see, I was born in Lubbock, TX. Grew up there till I was about eleven, then my mom and dad separated. So we moved to Kansas and lived there for a couple years as a teen then moved back to Lubbock. I got into church with my uncle after the divorce of my parents. I really got involved in ministry as a teen. Was part of the youth leadership. Then started I started in praise and worship ministry, learning the guitar and singing, that was an experience. Turning the age of 20 I started separating myself from church cause of the things I was experiencing with the church. Not a lot of good things to say about that, because some people let the postion that God has allowed them to be in get to their heads and they end up abusing that power. well time had passed and I got into drugs and alcohol really really bad.... Normal thing for people I guess, but the stuff I was doing was catching up to me and soon after was when the spirit of death was pronounced over my life. And at that time I blew it off cause I had the thought I was going to what I wanted to do. I really didnt care much about anything at that time. I tried committing suicide because I felt alone, hurt, and didnt want to deal with the pain anymore. Well I didnt go through with it, but I still have scars that are slowly fading away that remind me of that day. Shortly after that I almost died from an overdose of cocaine, weed, and alcohol mixed together. Finally woke me up so to speak. Hearing from others of how that night went. A couple of months had passed and the girl that I was dating at the time became pregnant. So that helped me get away from some things. Well in Septemeber of that year she had a miscarriage then slowly we stopped speaking to each other. So I moved to Dallas where I still live, to get away from what was holding me down. Now going on a little over 3 years ago I have gone to school and got a degree to do better for myself. Got back into church helping on the praise and worship team. Soon after my graduation I married with the girl who I thought was meant for me. Come to find out she ended up cheating on me. So we divorced, and thats when I hit rock bottom. It felt like my life came to an end. And again I felf lonely, hurt, disgusted, whatever you can say about it, thats how I felt. I started drinking again, heavily, telling myself there was no other way. And along the way through all of what I have been trough from living in Lubbock and here I lied to people, family, friends, etc. I said alot of things that were not true cause I didnt want anyone to know how I was feeling, and along with that I hurt alot of people in my life. And all that just to keep how I felt to myself becasue I didnt want to let anyone know my real feelings. But in all this I can say GOD IS GOOD! I can say that because God has brought people into my life to encourage to start my relationship with God again. To let him heal me of the mess that was in life. To do his will, and seek him. It has been about a year and half now since that mess passed away and I can honestly say that God has freed me from alot of things. Still need work in areas, but that is between me and God, because we all need work. I am blessed that finally seeking God with a true heart and just letting him work in me has changed my life completetly. I say all this because this past weekend we had a special service at our church and it was amazing then on sunday our pastor during his sermon said something along the line that we need to share our testimony with others because the devil likes it when we stay quite about it, because sharing our testimony will speak into someones life whether we see it or not. And of course we are bringing glory to God and the devil hates it when that happens. So its time that I open up about my testimony. So if you want to judge me go right ahead because I dont answer to anyone but God and he is who ill be concerned about being judged from. Well God Bless and if you want to leave comments go right ahead!!!!! Thanks for reading PJ!!!!